


Exclusive (No Excuses)

by ardentaislinn



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Corporate, F/M, FitzSimmons Secret Santa, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 14:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5543312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentaislinn/pseuds/ardentaislinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma thinks she and Fitz might just have something special. Problem is, she kinda accidentally just agreed to go on a blind date with someone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exclusive (No Excuses)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SuperIrishBreakfastTea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperIrishBreakfastTea/gifts).



Jemma was not the kind of person who took a while to become functional once she awoke. She always became aware almost the instant she was no longer asleep and didn’t linger under the covers much longer than a few minutes. But on this particular morning, Jemma took a moment to revel in the morning light and warmth of her bed.

A sleepy shuffle came from behind her, and she carefully rolled over, smiling as Fitz came into view. He was still asleep, his mouth slightly open and his hair mussed on her pillow. Memories of the night before flashed through her mind in brief, erotic snatches.

Before irrevocably deciding to invite her colleague over and seduce him, Jemma had thought that she might end up regretting that plan. However, on this bright and beautiful morning, she found that she did not regret a single thing. 

Fitz opened his eyes, squinting at the light. “Morning,” he murmured sleepily, his voice rough. She had a moment to wonder if it always sounded like that before his first cup of tea, and to theorise that perhaps she might like to spend many more mornings waking up just like this.

“Good morning,” she replied cheerfully. Fitz winced at the enthusiasm in her voice. Not a morning person, then.

“We should probably talk-” Jemma began, before catching sight of the clock on the other side of the bed. “ _ Is that the time? _ ” Ignoring Fitz’s surprised sputterings, Jemma rolled back over and scrambled for her phone, double-checking the time.

“Shit,” she muttered under her breath as her phone confirmed that she was running very, very late. She threw off the covers and practically sprinted into the bathroom, catching a glimpse of Fitz still struggling to process what was happening.

“Hurry up, we are going to be late! I’ll shower first while you clean your teeth, and then we’ll swap. Spare toothbrush in the second drawer down.”

She turned on the shower and waited only a few seconds for it to heat before she jumped in. She didn’t even have time to consider comfort or modesty as she quickly soaped and scrubbed. The water had barely finished heating as she finished up and stepped out, wrapping her towel around her.

Fitz was in the process of hurriedly disrobing and Jemma allowed herself only a lingering second to admire the view before focusing on getting her teeth cleaned.

It wasn’t until they were both getting dressed that Jemma found a second to say, “We need to talk about how we’ll deal with this.”

“Deal with this?” Fitz asked, his voice muffled by a borrowed undershirt he was pulling on, leftover from one of Jemma’s previous overnight guests.

“Yes. I think we should not tell anyone. At least for a while. Let things blow over.” Fitz tugged down the shirt, revealing a slightly anxious expression. Jemma noted the t-shirt was a little overlarge on him.

“You think we should keep it a secret?” He picked up another item that she’d thrown at him earlier.

“Just for a while. I mean, can you imagine the gossip if Lance Hunter got ahold of this? He’s such a busybody, everyone would know our business before lunch. And if we told Bobbi, then she’d tell Hunter. Though, even if we don’t tell her, she’ll figure it out. She’s like a spy, the way she knows everyone’s secrets. I’m guessing you know those two are a thing? Basically everyone knows. Anyway, it would really turn into a mess.” Jemma finished buttoning her shirt, and leant closer to the mirror to fix her hair. She was talking too much, she knew. Nerves about the day ahead.

Fitz let out a considering hum. “I suppose that’s true.” He didn’t seem particularly thrilled about it, but Jemma wasn’t certain how to placate him.

“And if everyone knows, then  _ Ms May _ would know, which is infinitely worse. She’s a stickler for the rules and apparently a big fan of the anti-fraternisation policy.”

“You asked about the anti-fraternisation policy?” Fitz asked, perking up slightly.

Jemma arranged her face into a haughty expression. “I like to have all the facts before making my decisions.”

Fitz grinned at her, then sobered, buckling his belt over the deep blue, linen shirt she’d given him. It was strange to see him in that after only having seen him in patterned shirts and ties. Still, it was a good look for him. “If we must,” he finished. 

“Right. That’s settled.” She gave him an encouraging smile and leaned forward to give him a quick, comforting peck on the lips. Fitz’s hands settled on her hips and held her in place when she would have pulled away. He deepened the kiss, claiming her lips with a hint of uncharacteristic possessiveness.

Jemma melted into him, instantly distracted from her schedule.

“We need to go,” she whispered against his lips as he pulled back for air.

“Yeah,” he replied, lingering a second longer before taking a step back.

They both gathered their things and hurried out the door, Jemma allowing herself a regretful glance at the messy sheets on the bed.

\---

They made it to work with almost no time to spare. Jemma decided she should walk in first, and Fitz should follow a few minutes later to allay anyone’s possible suspicions. It was really just a precaution. Most people weren’t even aware that Jemma and Fitz knew each other at all, as they worked in different departments. But Jemma didn’t want to give anyone cause to suspect anything.

“Hey!” Fitz called when she was halfway to the building. Jemma spun back around. “Dinner tomorrow?”

Jemma smiled and felt her insides fizz in anticipation. “I’ll have to check my schedule,” she told him with a wink before hurrying off to the building entrance.

She carried her takeaway tea and bagel that she and Fitz had picked up on the way to work through the doors and straight to her desk. Thankfully, no one seemed to have noticed that she was a few minutes late, so she polished off her bagel as she booted up her computer and got started for the day.

The only time she saw Fitz before lunch was in the distance as he helped Bobbi with her computer. This wasn’t unusual. They’d really only spent about 30 minutes in each other’s company at work since she started there two months ago and most of that time was when he spent 20 minutes helping her solve a hardware issue with her computer.

It was a large company; Jemma was a Clinical Research Associate, with Fitz in IT, so unless there was an issue with her computer (that she couldn’t fix herself), then they generally stuck to their own departments. Today, this worked in her favour, since she found herself blushing at just the sight of his hands from a distance as she remembered what they had done to her the night before.

She’d really only gotten to know Fitz because the day after he’d fixed her computer, they’d stumbled across each other at Jemma’s favourite lunch place. It was a little-known sandwich bar about a 10 minute walk from their office. Most people got distracted by the other places they had to pass to get to The Hub, but Jemma always walked right by those because she knew her favourite place had the gluten-free wraps she liked. She had no idea how Fitz had found the place.

That day, they’d got talking, and found they’d had a lot in common. They had begun to encounter each other more and more regularly at The Hub, to the point where Jemma guessed Fitz must have started going out of his way to eat there at the same time as her. 

It was only natural that the next step would be her inviting him to her place to continue their discussions on depictions of science in popular science fiction, though her ulterior motives had been obvious to both of them. Thankfully, Fitz had accepted eagerly.

She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t told Bobbi and Lance about her secret almost-dates with Fitz. Her only excuse was that the two of them were in another ‘on-again’ phase, and therefore almost entirely wrapped up in each other. Really, though, she liked the idea of keeping him as her own precious secret, at least until she knew they were actually a real ‘thing’.

Lost in her musings, Jemma startled as Hunter popped up beside her in her cubicle.

“You’re single still, right?” he asked by way of greeting.

Jemma spluttered, wondering how Hunter always managed to ask the worst questions at the worst moments. She quickly ran through her options of what to say, immediately ruling out ‘the truth’ as a possibility. It was only a question of  _ how much _ she wanted to lie.

“I’ve been on some dates lately, but I don’t currently have a boyfriend, no,” she replied carefully. This was true in only the most technical sense. Though she and Fitz had not had a chance to have the ‘exclusive’ talk, she knew deep down that that’s what they were, even without having to clarify it.

“Thought so. Given that Bobbi and I are feeling the love lately, we’ve decided to pass on the joy.”

“You’re going to...love me?” Jemma asked, confused.

“What?  _ No! _ Jeez. You’re like my little sister. Ew.”

“Thanks. I think.”

Hunter ignored her sarcasm. “I’ve set you up with a date for tomorrow night.”

“ _ What? _ ” Jemma exploded.

“Look, it’s no biggie. It’s just with this guy Bobbi and I know. I don’t think you’ve met him yet, but just in case you have, I’m not going to tell you his name until I text it to you in the restaurant. Don’t want you doing any prior research.”

Jemma narrowed her eyes. “Why? What will I find?”

“Nothing!” Hunter said quickly, but somehow Jemma didn’t quite believe him. She levelled him with her most intimidating stare.

“Hunter…”

“Look, okay. He’s not your usual type. But he’s a great bloke and I think you’ll like him. But I just don’t want you to have any preconceived notions.”

This, at least, sounded sincere.

“Hunter, I can’t, I-”

“Have a date?” He eyed her closely, trying to ferret out the truth.

Jemma opened her mouth to reply, then closed it with a snap. What could she say without giving the game away and risking being the subject of gossip for months to come? She was new in the area and didn’t have many friends. Perhaps she could say she was having a drink with Daisy? But, no, Tuesday was Daisy’s regular date night, of which Hunter was well aware.

“No, I...just don’t feel like it,” she lied.

Hunter rolled his eyes. “You’ve been at me for months saying you need more friends. You know you have to leave the house to make that happen, right?” He sighed, settling on the edge of her desk and giving her a sincere look. “You don’t have to shag the guy. Unless you want to, no judgement from me. Frankly he could use it. But he’s a good bloke and I think you guys have some stuff in common, and even if you don’t end up getting married and having babies and ruining your lives together, then maybe he’ll just be an extra person you can hang out with, yeah?”

Jemma sighed, so tempted to tell Hunter the truth. He was a good friend beneath all the bluster, and she never could resist him when he was being earnest.

However, all Jemma had to do was picture the look on Ms May’s face when she inevitably found out about her and Fitz  _ fraternising _ and Jemma knew she couldn’t breathe a word. And under any other circumstances, she knew that she would see the logic in what Hunter was saying.

And, really, it didn’t even have to be a  _ romantic _ date. She could just see it as a friend-date, right?

“OK, fine,” she heard herself saying. Hunter grinned and disappeared as quickly as he came.

This would all work out, Jemma told herself. Then why the gnawing feeling of guilt?

\---

Jemma had spent two hours debating whether she should tell Fitz about the not-date when the man in question rang on her office landline.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low. “The other guys finally went out for lunch, so I thought I’d call.”

“Hey,” Jemma replied a little breathlessly, stirred by the simple sound of his voice. She looked over at the cubicle across the aisle, noting Hunter’s curious stare. She straightened her spine and put on her most business-like tone. “How can I help you today?” 

She could hear the grin in Fitz’s voice as he spoke. “Hunter’s watching you?”

“Yes, certainly,” she replied, pretending to type on her keyboard.

“Is now a good time for me to tell you all the things I’d like to do with and to you tomorrow night?” he had tried for an innocent tone, but a hint of gruffness broke through. No doubt he was thinking the same work-inappropriate thoughts she was.

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” she managed, as her gut clenched and her face grew warm. She spun around even further in her swivel-chair, turning her back to Hunter.

Fitz laughed, and she heard a thump as he must have dropped his feet back on the floor from where they had been resting on his desk.

“So, are we still on for tomorrow night?” he asked casually, dropping the act.

Tommorrow...oh, shit.

“I...um, I actually have something in my calendar for that date. Can we reschedule?”

“Oh...I thought...sure,” Fitz murmured, his disappointment palpable.  “What do you have on? I know it’s presumptuous, but I could tag along if you wanted?”

Jemma let out a nervous giggle at the thought of Fitz coming along on her not-date. “Ah, that won’t be necessary.”

She honestly didn’t know why she wasn’t telling him the truth. It wasn’t just Hunter eavesdropping on the conversation. She knew Fitz would be hurt, and he really had no reason to be. She would go, make a new friend or not, and he never had to know. But still, the guilt pooled low in her gut.

“Right,” Fitz replied. “I guess...right.” They both knew she was being evasive. God only knew what he was thinking.

“I’ll make it up to you,” she promised on a whisper. “Tonight, even?” She threw caution to the wind, no longer caring if Hunter was listening in.

“No, that’s fine. Probably best to have a little time to process stuff, anyway,” he told her. He didn’t sound mad, just a little hurt. Intellectually, Jemma knew he didn’t really have a right to be upset. Just because they’d slept together once (or, if memory served, three times in one night) didn’t mean he had a right to be jealous of how she spent her time. If she knew Fitz, then he probably knew that, too.

However, emotionally it was a different story. She felt like she’d betrayed him.

“I’ll explain later,” she told him earnestly.

“OK,” Fitz replied, then hurried on before she could say anything else. “I gotta go back to work. See you.”

The line went dead. Jemma rested her forehead on her palm as she put the phone back in its cradle.

“One of your many lovers, I presume?” Hunter teased.

Jemma got up and walked away towards the bathroom without replying, not willing to deal with his insensitivity today.

\---

By five that evening, Jemma had worked herself up into such a state of guilt that the instant she got in the safety of her car, she dialled Fitz’s number.

“I’ll cancel,” she blurted out without even saying hello. She took a deep breath, calming herself. “I’ll cancel the...thing I had on tomorrow night. We can go to dinner, like you planned.” She smiled to herself in the dark cabin of her car, pleased with how measured her voice sounded.

“Um...I can’t now. I’ve arranged something else with...well, it’s not important. I promised I’d go, don’t want to let her down.” 

The bottom dropped out of Jemma’s stomach.  _ Her? _

“I completely understand,” Jemma said in a strangled voice. “I hope you have a great time.”

“Jemma, it’s not…”

“It’s fine, really Fitz. I hope you have a great time,” she said again, then winced at her own repetitiveness.

She hung up quickly, breathing deep to calm her racing heart. What had she done?

After a moment, annoyance replaced hurt. He just arranged another date? Just like that.

Well, in that case, she could go on  _ her _ date completely guilt-free. Obviously, he wasn’t as into the whole ‘exclusive’ thing as she had imagined.

Jemma turned her key in the ignition with more violence than it warranted, and drove home, stewing all the way.

\---

Jemma arrived at the restaurant the next night, decked out in her finest armour: her favourite black dress and red lipstick. She had coasted to this point on a wave of jealousy and acrimony, but now that she was walking in the door, it all fell away, leaving her feeling hurt and surprisingly vulnerable. She didn’t want to be here, she realised. She wanted to be with Fitz, even if he was seeing another woman. They  _ hadn’t  _ had the ‘exclusive’ talk, after all. (Though, if she ever sorted this mess out, they would. Immediately.) And so what if Hunter found out and they became the most gossiped-about couple in the office? As for Ms May...well, Jemma would find a way around that. She usually did.

Still, she was here now, as per Hunter’s text earlier. First, she had to deal with her not-date, and ingrained courtesy meant that she had to let him down to his face. So, she stepped inside, preparing for the worst.

She didn’t know whether Hunter or her date had picked the restaurant, but it was a good choice. Low, intimate lighting, comfortable-looking chairs, and pristine white table cloths. Just the atmosphere designed to build romance in an uninventive but non-threatening kind of way. Jemma felt sick.

She checked the time. Five minutes early, just as she’d planned. She glanced around, wondering who the unlucky soul was going to be that she’d have to let down tonight. But then her eyes caught sight of the person she least expected to see.

Fitz.

She blinked, wondering whether her longing had conjured him before her eyes. But, no, he was really there, playing miserably with the single rose on the table in front of him. 

Jemma ducked behind a screen, then peeked around, making sure he hadn’t seen her. Good lord, of all the places for Fitz to have his date tonight, it was the same place she had hers? What a horrible, awful, appalling coincidence.

Jemma considered bailing, then and there. Her instinct to flee was almost overwhelming, but she knew she’d always feel guilty if she stood this guy up. Besides, if he was a friend of Hunter and Bobbi, chances are he was a good guy, and he wouldn’t deserve that.

The maitre’d appeared before her as Jemma weighed all her options, trying to decide which was the least terrible.

“Can I take you to your table?” she asked, her face a mask of smooth professionalism despite the sight Jemma knew she must be, hiding behind a screen with her face white as a sheet.

“That man over there,” she said instead, gesturing vaguely in Fitz’s direction without putting herself in his line of sight. “Do you know who he is waiting for?”

A vague thought began niggling at the corner of her mind, waiting for the final piece before it could coalesce. 

The maitre’d leaned forward a little conspiratorially. “I think he might be on a blind date. When I asked the name or description of the woman he was waiting for, he said he wasn’t so sure. Are you his date?”

Jemma swallowed as realisation dawned. “I think I might-” she was distracted by the feel of her phone buzzing in her hand.

She raised it, somehow knowing what she’d find.

She opened the message from Hunter, and it was exactly as she’d feared.

_ Your date’s name is Fitz. He’ll be the glum, nerdy looking bloke. I’m sure he’ll cheer up when he sees you, though. _

So much for Fitz not knowing what she had been intending to do tonight. Jemma allowed herself a brief moment to wallow as all the worst case scenarios played through her mind. Then, she straightened her spine, determined to work this out.

“Yes,” she told the maitre’d. “Please take me to him.”

The woman led Jemma over to Fitz’s table. His gaze rose reluctantly as the maitre’d hovered beside him, then switched to horrified confusion when he saw Jemma behind her right shoulder. Jemma smiled awkwardly, then took her seat across from him. The maitre’d disappeared, leaving the two of them staring anywhere except each other.

“Hi,” said Jemma eventually.

“What are you doing here?” Fitz blurted out, his voice thin.

“Hunter insisted I meet a friend of his. Said we’d get along well.” Jemma caught his gaze and held it.

Fitz nodded, his jaw clenched. “So, you decided to go on a date with this other guy you didn’t even know? When we were...we’d just...”

“So did you!”

“Only  _ after _ you blew me off and were all evasive about it. If you told me, we could have at least laughed at the irony. But you were planning to keep it a secret!” His voice was hushed, and he leaned forward so the other tables couldn’t eavesdrop on their argument. Still, Jemma could hear the hurt in his words.

“Hunter put me on the spot, and we’d already decided not to tell him the truth, so I had no good reason to refuse. And I did call to say I’d cancel it, but you’d already leaped on the first opportunity to come your way! Don’t forget you aren’t innocent in this. You chose to come on a date with another woman without talking to me, either.”

Fitz was silent for a long moment, and Jemma had a brief flare of hope that he’d come to his senses and forgive her.

“I think...I think we need to just, take a break from this. Us. Maybe neither of us valued it as much as I thought we did.”

He stood, then, giving her one last, long look before striding out the door.

Jemma took a few minutes to compose herself, breathing deep to control the tears. Then she, too, walked out.

\---

Jemma spent the rest of the evening huddled under her blanket, alternating between blaming herself and justifying the fact that she’d done nothing  _ technically _ wrong. Mixed in was an occasional feeling of righteous anger directed at Fitz.

In the end, though, she had to face the truth: she’d messed up. Big time. So did Fitz, she knew, but she’d done so first. She shouldn’t have said yes to the date, she shouldn’t have lied by omission, she shouldn’t have...well, circular self-recrimination was going to get her nowhere. She had to decide if she wanted just let it go and accept that things weren’t meant to be between them, or whether she wanted to actually do something to fix it.

The answer was simple, really. Whether or not Fitz would forgive her, she had to try.

The question was...how?

\---

The next morning, Jemma had a plan. It wasn’t the best plan she’d ever thought of, but it was the best she could do on short notice while being so emotionally compromised.

She left her house early to put the finishing touches on her idea, still arriving at work in plenty of time. She was full of nervous energy, unable to sit completely still in her chair as she watched the office fill up with workers.

Hunter was five minutes late, as always. He didn’t even go to his cubicle before he came to stand beside Jemma.

“So, how did it go last night?” he seemed eager to know, and any suspicions Jemma may have harboured of him orchestrating that embarrassment on purpose disappeared.

“You mean, you weren’t a few tables over, watching us?” Jemma asked dryly.

“I planned on it, but Bob, well, she intentionally distracted me. And I didn’t want to call in case it was, you know,  _ going well _ .”

Jemma rolled her eyes. “It went terribly, if you must know.” Hunter’s face fell, and Jemma kept talking before he could say anything. “But I intend to fix it.”

“What did you do?” Hunter sounded utterly appalled.

“Never mind that; I’ll explain later. First, can I ask some questions?”

“Shoot.”

“Was Bobbi in on this?”

“Yeah, they’ve been friends for ages. She was the one that convinced Fitz to go last night. He really didn’t want to, but she must have used some kind of combination of guilt and bribery. She’s good at that.”

Jemma had thought so. Bobbi had been the woman Fitz hadn’t wanted to let down. It explained a lot.

“Last question...You and Bobbi are pretty openly...together. Sometimes. How do you get around the anti-fraternisation policy?”

Hunter laughed. “Oh, you mean May? She’s a pussycat. The only person she’s ever enforced it on is a guy that fucked over Daisy by not telling her he was corporate spy. And married. She used the policy to fire him on the spot, then she and Daisy spent months gathering evidence about his duplicity. Her reputation as a hardarse for the rules stuck, though. Must have all been before your time.”

Jemma grinned. “Yeah. That’s really good to know.”

Hunter winked at her before returning to his desk. “Just let me know if there is anything you need, yeah?”

Jemma smiled, feeling just a little more optimistic.

\---

Lunch time rolled around and Jemma was ready to put her plan into action. She grabbed the things she’d collected that morning and marched off to find the IT department.

She’d never been down there - never had a reason to. She found the room he shared with three other guys easy enough, and took a minute to compose herself before throwing open the door and striding in.

At the commotion, Fitz looked away from the man he had been talking to and looked up at her. He visibly startled, then frowned in confusion.

“Jemma, what-”

“I’ve come to apologise. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I was scared and didn’t really know where we stood and I...I just want you to know I don’t want to date anyone except you.”

Fitz didn’t say anything, just stared at her with his mouth slightly opened, seemingly shocked into silence.

Jemma held out the bag she’d collected that morning from The Hub, complete with his favourite sandwich. “I thought we could start again. Have lunch together. Here, not in secret.”

Fitz was still silent and Jemma had to fight back the urge to keep talking. She waited, until a small smile kicked up the corner of his mouth.

He leaned down behind his desk and pulled out an identical bag, complete with The Hub’s logo stamped on the side.

“Great minds think alike,” he told her, his eyes soft and amused.

Relief welled up in her, so overwhelming that she felt tears spring to her eyes. “And fools seldom differ,” she whispered.

He stepped forward, taking her hands in his. “You’re not a fool, Jemma.”

She blinked, clearing her vision. Her gaze landed on his sincere expression. “I feel like one. I should have just told you, or laughed Hunter off, or done any number of other things I didn’t do.”

Fitz’s thumbs brushed comfortingly over her knuckles. “Jemma, I buggered up exactly the same. I’m so crazy about you, but I know I’m not good enough for you. I’m not sure anyone is. I was too afraid to ask where we stood, to clarify how you felt. I wasn’t sure what you’d say, whether you’d tell me it was just the one night, or I was just one of a few options you had. And so I tried to live in denial, pretending it didn’t matter. But it did.”

“Did?” she asked.

“Still does,” he said firmly. “I want to be with you, Jemma. And only with you.”

Jemma sniffed happily, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “So, are we exclusive, then?” she asked, stepping closer to him.

“Yeah,” he replied, cradling her face with his hand. “We are.”

He kissed her softly, carefully, communicating in the timeless way that needed no words. But it still told a story of their future, one that was full of cozy nights, bright mornings, and constant joy.


End file.
